dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
