no. you can't hotbox the world.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
