He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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