so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
