I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
