ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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