mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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