not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
