If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't turn off my feet"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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