i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
