hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
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It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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