I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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