I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
