Define "chronic" masturbator.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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