i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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