I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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