all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
