ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
