So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize