Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
