Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
