I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
