wrigley field is MILF paradise
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
