You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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