i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
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