so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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