I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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