yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
