I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
