Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
