My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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