you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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