Will you blow on my dice?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
