im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
