Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
