I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
