these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
