i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
