do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Why did my mother make you get naked?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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