my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
