ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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