Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
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