Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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