Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
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