He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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