I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
