Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Come on in and take your pants off
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