Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
