How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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