We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
