Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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