Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize