Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
