You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
