You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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