youre lurking in front of me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
