ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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